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Thursday, August 30, 2018

Macaques Are Jerks!

I am not a big fan of monkeys, macaques in particular. I am cool with orangutans and chimpanzees and could even love King Kong. But macaques? They’re evil. Pure, pure evil.

When I was in primary school, we had a teacher who wore a glass eye. Word had it that a macaque scratched out her eye.

And thus began my aversion for macaques.

A terrifying encounter with these nasty little buggers when I was little kicked my dislike for them a notch higher.

We were on a road trip to Penang to visit my aunt when Dad decided to stop at the Botanic Gardens for a break.
Inside the car was a big bunch of rambutans we had brought along for our aunt.
We got out of the car to explore the gardens, leaving the fruit behind.

Upon our return to the car park, we were shocked to see a gang of marauding macaques inside and atop our car! Rambutan shells and seeds were scattered everywhere! Evidently, the monkeys were having a party, chattering loudly and feasting on their loot!  Dad must have inadvertently left one of the doors unlocked. Those sneaky little devils managed to open the car door and nick our rambutans!

When Dad tried to shoo them away, they started shrieking loudly, baring their fangs and thumping their chests! One even threw *poo at us! JERKS! They really scared the crap out of me!

*I've read somewhere that monkeys use their feces as weapons!

My dislike for these obnoxious critters upped another level when I was at the Uluwatu Temple in Bali with my cousin. A macaque sneaked up behind me and my unsuspecting cousin, snatched the sunglasses off  my cousin's face and skittered up a tree! We were both traumatized by the incident and my cousin has since developed a phobia for monkeys.

Interestingly, did you know that the macaques in the Uluwatu Temple are a monkey mafia of sorts?!! These nefarious monkeys steal stuff, then barter for food!

A video to share

I had yet another run-in with these thieving little buggers during our recent vacation at Club Med.

Returning to our hotel after a walk on the beach, we opened the door to find two macaques inside the room and they were going through our luggage!

The hubs scared them off but one of them had already grabbed a tube of Pringles before fleeing!

I was (still am) certain that I had closed the sliding door to the balcony before leaving the room, very well aware of the presence of  these accomplished burglars in the resort. Somehow, they got in.

This one hissed and flashed his willy at me when I nervously tried to chase it away! What a charmer!
A long-tailed grey macaque
I have been cautioned  that macaques are vindictive and you seriously don't want to mess with these vicious, conniving imps. A friend of mine  told me a macaque hopped onto his shoulders from a statue behind him and peed on him when he was in a temple in Thailand!

Yep, I  hate, hate, hate macaques!

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday


  1. I'm glad there aren't any around here. Loved the video though. They steal to get food. Makes sense.

    Have a fabulous day. ♥

  2. Oh my goodness! They are very clever for sure! That would have frightened me to see them in my hotel room. I think I would have had to leave, LOL :)

    I can see why you are not a fan of them.


  3. Haha, this was very entertaining to read! Though I don’t think Ikd be laughing if we had wild macaques over here... I can certainl see why you dislike them so much! #GlobalBlogging

  4. omg! they sound like really really bratty three-year-olds -- grabbing food and occasionally peeing on people. Your story was hilarious and I loved to take pics of them -- but don't want any of that to happen to me. crazy monkeys

  5. Made me smile and LOL @ "Thieving little buggers"

    Have a monkeytastic week :-)

  6. Wow! I can't imagine dealing with them and have no desire! What terrible stories!

  7. So the expression "you little monkey" suddenly all makes sense! #BloggersBest

  8. I hate them as well! The one in Uluwatu and Monkey Forests are the worst :(. My son is traumatic with them as well

  9. Wow I didn't know these were so naughty!! I bet you were getting so cross. Fun and interesting post to read. Thanks for sharing with #bloggersbest x

  10. This doesn't sound much short of a horror movie! I would be scared too! xx

  11. I have never been a fan of monkey and after reading this, I dislike them even more.

  12. Monkeys scare me! Have a wonderful weekend!

  13. They;re adorable when viewed at a zoo. I doubt I'd enjoy having them in my yard and garden and house!
    Thanks for linking up at https://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2018/09/a-bit-of-bluegrass.html

  14. I am terrified of them also! They are so smart and I just give them a wide berth. #GlobalBlogging

  15. Oh my, it sounds like they are waiting for their chance to raid someone's food stash. I guess they know human food is a tasty treat, but I would not like them near me either!

  16. hehehe Can of chips :-)

  17. They sound so naughty lol, I love that pic with the pringles tube though! #kcacols

  18. I'm not overly keen on them either. I remember seeing loads of them at the same Botanic Gardens in Penang. Thankfully, they didn't come near to us, but I wasn't happy because they did look bloody shifty! x


  19. Wow. What nasty little blighters! Definitely worth keeping a wide berth from these guys. Great post as ever #KCACOLS

  20. I think their naughty cleverness is kind of cute. They would only be scary if they were bigger. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

  21. Its all fun and games until somebody steals my pringles. No messing around there #KCACOLS