Like a creative flourish from God’s paintbrush, they are a kaleidoscope of colours on the high seas, bringing both beauty and death wherever they go.
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
James Pan
Check out these jellyfish photos by James Pan.
Like a creative flourish from God’s paintbrush, they are a kaleidoscope of colours on the high seas, bringing both beauty and death wherever they go.
Like a creative flourish from God’s paintbrush, they are a kaleidoscope of colours on the high seas, bringing both beauty and death wherever they go.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Exam Answers
Here's another e-mail to share.
Allegedly, these are genuine exam answers (from 16 year olds) to last year’s GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire(U.K). Don't laugh, one of them could be a world leader someday.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (What the *!!*???)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Allegedly, these are genuine exam answers (from 16 year olds) to last year’s GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire(U.K). Don't laugh, one of them could be a world leader someday.
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (What the *!!*???)
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Can Cars
Sandy Sanderson of Hamilton, New Zealand creates awesome miniature racing cars from empty drink cans. We're talking circa 1920 vintage models of the Roadster, Jeep and buggy - all complete with steering, gear stick, dashboard meters and other details.
Check out his masterpieces at www.cancars.webs.com.
Check out his masterpieces at www.cancars.webs.com.
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| 12 Heineken Beer Cans |
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| 17 Waikato Beer Cans |
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| 28 Rheineck Beer Cans |
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| 16 Guinness Cans |
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| 30 Waikato Beer Cans |
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| 20 CocaCola Cans |
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| 8 Coruba & Cola Cans |
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Friday, November 13, 2009
Definitions For Parents
Amnesia:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Two-Minute Warning:
When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Grandparents:
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Impregnable:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Puddle:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies into it.
Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids want ice cream.
Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart at the dinner table, to avoid a food fight.
Feedback:
The gift your kids give you. Even when it’s not your birthday.
Full Name:
What you call your child when you’re mad at them.
Hear-say:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Ow:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Impregnable:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Puddle:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies into it.
Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids want ice cream.
Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart at the dinner table, to avoid a food fight.
Feedback:
The gift your kids give you. Even when it’s not your birthday.
Full Name:
What you call your child when you’re mad at them.
Hear-say:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Ow:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Prenatal:
When your life was still somewhat your own.
Sterilize:
What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
When your life was still somewhat your own.
Sterilize:
What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Who-dunit:
None of the kids who live in your house.
None of the kids who live in your house.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Calender Girls
Check out these entries for the Worth1000.com contest with the theme "Animal Pin-Ups".
The rules?
Contestants are to dress animals up in a pin up style. Any clothes are allowed (however the less the better; remember these are pin-ups). Any animals are allowed. The animal doesn't need to be dressed up completely. Do not simply paste an animal's head onto a human's body unless you change the exposed parts of the human to match the animal's skin/fur.
The rules?
Contestants are to dress animals up in a pin up style. Any clothes are allowed (however the less the better; remember these are pin-ups). Any animals are allowed. The animal doesn't need to be dressed up completely. Do not simply paste an animal's head onto a human's body unless you change the exposed parts of the human to match the animal's skin/fur.
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| Foxy Loxy... m... mmmm |
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| Meerkat Stripper |
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| Backstage at Zanzibar |
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| Pin-up cow |
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| Miss Sharpei |
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| Gorilla |
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| Blonde Horse |
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| Cowgirl |
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| Frog Legs |
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| My Humps |
Kopi Luwak
I first heard about Kopi Luwak from the movie "The Bucket List". Remember the scene when Carter (Morgan Freeman) strikes off "Laugh till I cry" from his bucket list after he reveals with great amusement to Edward (Jack Nicholson) the disgusting origin of the "world's most rare coffee" that Edward obsesses and Carter refuses to drink?
Here's an e-mail to share about the world's most prized coffee.
Say Hello to the Civet: The Maker of $600 Coffee
Yes, it's true -- this mammal, native to Africa and Asia, is responsible for pooping out the world's most expensive coffee, called Kopi Luwak. Civets are fed coffee cherries, and during digestion the animal's enzymes mix with the coffee beans before they, ahem, pass through, giving the beans a unique, bitter taste. See how it all happens...
The Cherries Are Chosen
A farmer in East Java, Indonesia, picks coffee cherries to feed the civets
A Whole Team at Work: Hand-Picking the Cherries
The Civet Approaches..
...Gets Ready to Dig In...
...And Is Joined by Friends for Dinner
Gathering the Dung With Gloves...
In East Java, workers use gloves to clear the results of the feast.
Civet poop before it's turned into the coffee.
Separating the poop and washing it off
Another Step in Production
A worker displays the distinct, cleaned-off beans.
The Very Expensive End Result
Pictured: Coffee Alamid, one Philippine brand. Because a very limited supply is produced each year, civit coffee can cost up to $600 per pound.
Er.. No thank you. I think I'll stick to my Malaysian Kopi -O-Peng!!
Here's an e-mail to share about the world's most prized coffee.
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Yes, it's true -- this mammal, native to Africa and Asia, is responsible for pooping out the world's most expensive coffee, called Kopi Luwak. Civets are fed coffee cherries, and during digestion the animal's enzymes mix with the coffee beans before they, ahem, pass through, giving the beans a unique, bitter taste. See how it all happens...
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A farmer in East Java, Indonesia, picks coffee cherries to feed the civets
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In East Java, workers use gloves to clear the results of the feast.
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Pictured: Coffee Alamid, one Philippine brand. Because a very limited supply is produced each year, civit coffee can cost up to $600 per pound.
Er.. No thank you. I think I'll stick to my Malaysian Kopi -O-Peng!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Brows Of Horror
This e-mail came in this morning.
Enjoy!!
OMG!! ARE HER EYEBROWS IN “TIMES NEW ROMAN” FONT??
IT’S A FRIEDA “BRATS DOLL!!”
SHE WANTED TO BE FREIDA BUT COULD’NT COMMIT.
I’M NOT SURE THIS IS A CHICK TO BE HONEST WITH YOU….
CATS…SERIOUSLY? IF YOU WERE GOING WITH AN ANIMAL THEME WHY NOT LIZARDS? AT LEAST THEY ARE LONG AND SKINNY!!
SHE HAS EYEBROW MANGE!!! DON’T GET TOO CLOSE GIRL!!
SHE WAS PLAYING TREE #3 AGAIN THIS YEAR IN THE SCHOOL PLAY…SIGH….
MAYBE SHE DREW HER EYEBROWS SUPER DARK TO DISTRACT FROM THE GIANT HICKEY ON HER NECK???
MOOD EYEBROWS …SHE WAS ANGRY THAT DAY…VERRY ANGRY AND SAW STAR TREK LAST NIGHT ON T.V.
WOW!! LONGEST EYEBROWS EVER!!
I DON’T THINK THAT IS ANYONES REAL HAIR COLOR AT ALL!
ARRGH! ME HULK LADY WANT TO DANCE WITH JONAS BROTHERS!!
EEK! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!
I…I JUST DON’T HAVE WORDS….AT LEAST HER EYES AND HAIR MATCH. I’M SCARED
ITS LIKE SHE SAID SOMETHING STUPID SO THEY TURNED TO LOOK AT HER AND SAY “WHAT YOU TALKIN’ BOUT WILLIS?”
SHE COULD AT LEAST PUT SOME HAIR GEL IN IT OR SOMETHING???
Enjoy!!
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