The Day My Sister Ate a Garden

We checked into Marvie Hotel & Health in Split, expecting the usual—fluffy pillows, a decent breakfast, and maybe those complimentary chocolates that make you feel slightly fancier than you actually are.

Instead, we got… three mysterious brown balls.

Naturally, we assumed they were artisanal chocolate. I mean, what else could they be? Rustic-looking? Yes. Slightly dusty? Maybe it’s cocoa powder! Organic! Sustainable! Very on-brand for a health hotel.

Before anyone could question it, my sister—brave, impulsive, and clearly too trusting—popped one into her mouth.

And then… her face.

I wish I had recorded it.

She just froze. Didn’t even speak. Just slowly turned and looked at me like I had personally set her up.

That was when we realised something was very wrong.

So we actually read the card (which we should have done earlier), and it turns out they were seed balls.

Not food.

You’re supposed to throw them into parks or soil so plants can grow. Something called “guerrilla gardening.”

Meanwhile, my sister had just taken a full bite out of one.

Honestly, I still don’t know what she tasted — soil? regret? both?

Anyway, lesson learnt:
If a hotel gives you something that looks like chocolate… maybe read the instructions first.