|Josh at 12 years|
My mom always says that Josh was a miracle baby and I believe he was. We thought we had lost him at the 6th week of my pregnancy.
I wasn't really ecstatic when I found out that I was pregnant with Josh. After going through 3 miscarriages, you learned not to invest your hopes and I had misgivings about this pregnancy right from the beginning.
We were having dinner on a Sunday afternoon when I felt a cramp and a sudden gush of warm fluid down my legs. The feeling and the sight of the bright red blood were all too familiar. Perfunctorily, I saved the tissue and any solid fragments in a jar so my doctor could make an analysis of what was wrong with me.
In truth, I almost felt relieved. The uncertainty was finally over and I was glad that this rollercoaster ride of emotions had come to an end. I was tired of obsessing over the need to constantly check if I were spotting and noting every twinge or cramp.
The next morning, after a night of heavy bleeding and cramps, my mom, hubby and I went to the hospital. Just before we left the house, I overheard my mom telling my dad on the phone that I had lost the baby.
At the hospital, the doctor took a look at the contents in the jar and I could tell from his expression that it didn't look good. A nurse prepared me for an ultrasound. Then I saw the image of my baby floating inside my uterus. With a look of disbelief, the doctor detected a weakly beating heart!
My mom cried tears of joy and hubby was euphoric. All this time, he buried his personal torment in his concern for me. Me? I was in a fog of ambiguity and completely overwhelmed. You know the rest of the story.
Briefly, it wasn't an easy pregnancy. The doctor gave me progesterone injections that made me nauseous the entire first two trimesters. It was a struggle to get through each day. I couldn't keep my food down. My gag reflex seemed to be working overtime.I survived only on sips of water and nibbles of biscuits and toasts. I couldn't even swallow the supplements and folic acid tablets the doctor prescribed and was really afraid that my baby would be born with defects. And if things weren't complicated enough, I had gestational diabetes.
I still vividly remember the recurring nightmares I had of my baby floating on the sea in a Moses Basket, drifting farther and farther away from me as I tried desperately to reach for it.
|With his favourite toy, a stuffed wombat|
|Graduating from Kindergarten|