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Friday, November 13, 2009

Definitions For Parents

Amnesia:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two-Minute Warning:
When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Grandparents:
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Impregnable:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Puddle:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies into it.

Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids want ice cream.

Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart at the dinner table, to avoid a food fight.

Feedback:
The gift your kids give you. Even when it’s not your birthday.

Full Name:
What you call your child when you’re mad at them.

Hear-say:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


Ow:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Prenatal:
When your life was still somewhat your own.

Sterilize:
What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Who-dunit:
None of the kids who live in your house.

16 comments:

  1. GO to this link and hit me

    http://www.momdot.com/peopleschoiceaward/

    Alba (Independentmami)

    Thank you , thank you

    Sorry. I fixed it now.

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  2. Hi, can't stop following your blog. It's sooo cute. Made me smile:)

    http://olahmomma.blogspot.com

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  3. We had a dumbwaiter last week. "Who wants ice cream?!" Dude, really? The kids at the next table over started whining for it he was so loud.

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  4. Those were great! I liked hear-say. Baby Boo is very good at that one!

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  5. Funny! We're learning "Ow" for the first word. 2yr old keeps hitting 6 mo old with toy black and decker hammer...she's trying to get him to chase her! LOL

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  6. I'm laughing at family planning :)
    Have a beautiful weekend my dear friend! BIG HUGS!

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  7. So true! Oh man, the grandparents one....

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  8. I like the full name one--even the cats have middle names around here for that very reason!

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  9. Those were awesome! Loved it :)

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  10. That was frickin hilarious! I loved Ow and Sterilize - so true at our house! How I have missed your awesome posts :)

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  11. Oh hilarious - my favorite is amnesia!

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  12. LOL! I enjoyed the definitions for parents! LMBO! Great post with that! LOL

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